A Spiritual Psalter
or Reflections on God

from the writings of
Saint Ephraim the Syrian

139
Inside I remain the same — how long will this go on? Convert me, for the end is near.

Lo, I try to gather my thoughts from every corner, but I am unsuccessful, for the things responsible for the passions of my thoughts remain in me. I have not yet been freed from the influence of the evil spirits that will detain me on mine upward path toward heaven. I have not yet acknowledged the weight of the multitude of my sins. Those who have plunged me into sin now bear fruit in the flesh of my body.

How long shall I who am wretched continue to become intoxicated in the absence of wine, and neglect mine own self as if it were alien to me? Like a wicked servant who concocts plots to harm his master, so do I scheme to undermine mine own salvation, as if someone else were to suffer the injury mine actions produce. I do not want to be vigilant; daily do I offend Thy great patience. My wickedness stands before mine eyes. Yet Thou wilt be patient with me according to Thy kindness.

Grant me, O Lord, the remedy of conversion, that I might be healed of all the evil that is in me. Grant that I might enter the realm of restraint. Grant that I might spend all the days of my life in contrition of heart. Enlighten the clouded eyes of my mind, that I might rush zealously to embark on the path that leads to Thy vineyard.

The time of my life has run low, spent in vain cares and shameful thoughts. My life has come upon the eleventh hour. O Lord, steer my ship with its cargo and grant understanding to this powerless merchant, that I might complete my purchase while I still have time. For the hour of departure has arrived — it already looms before mine eyes — and I took fright exceedingly when I saw my poverty.

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From A Spiritual Psalter or Reflections on God, compiled from the works of Saint Ephraim the Syrian.

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