"Deliver me from apathy and slothfulness" (Saint Ephraim the Syrian)
Deliver me from apathy and slothfulness
he sinless Lamb of God freely chose to suffer the Cross in the flesh and was slain for the salvation of us sinners. In incorrupt flesh did He taste death in order to save our fallen nature. Thou Who art the Wisdom and the Strength of God the Father, the Radiance of His glory, O incomprehensible Jesus, O unfathomable Christ, O only kindhearted Lover of mankind, pour out on me, a sinner, Thy great mercy; and by Thy grace chase away from me all apathy, slothfulness, and impatience, that in Thy second coming I might not hear Thy terrible denunciation: What didst thou suffer for My sake?
In that terrible and frightening day, O Lord, Thou wilt say to us sinners: you all know well what I suffered for your sake. I, Who am God, took flesh for your sake. I, Who am invisible, visibly dwelt on earth for your sake. For your sake I hungered, thirsted and labored. For your sake I was persecuted and stoned. I, Who am blameless, was struck in the face and spat upon for your sake. I, Who am sinless, suffered a dishonorable death for your sake. For your sake my ribs were pierced with a spear and I was given vinegar mixed with gall to drink. All this have I suffered for your sake, in order to make you saints in heaven. I have given you the kingdom of heaven, I have called you all brothers, I have sent down to you the Holy Spirit. O men, what have you suffered for My sake?
What shall I, who am wretched, wicked, sinful and defiled, say in response? The martyrs will point to their wounds, their torments, their detached limbs, their endurance to the end. The ascetics will point to their asceticism, their lengthy fasts, vigils, non-acquisitiveness, their tears, and all their sufferings. But I, who am slothful and sinful, to what shall I point, but the shameful fruits of gluttony, sensuality, somnolence, acquisitiveness, impatience, vainglory, and apathy?
If Thou demandest from me, O Lord, an account of the time which I was given for repentance, but spent in negligence, how shall I justify myself? And if I am interrogated about mine idle talking, wicked thoughts, and desires, then what fear, what confusion will embrace poor me, and what torments will follow thereafter?
Spare me, O Lord! Spare me, O kindhearted One! Spare me, O Lover of man! Spare me, O only good One! Be merciful and have mercy on me according to Thy singular kindness. Strengthen my soul which has been corrupted by my slothfulness and apathy, O Thou Who exaltest the lowly and rescuest the distressed!
Thou knowest how negligent and wretched I am, Thou knowest how many cunning and evil thoughts war against me, Thou seest the enemy’s malice and the many wiles which he uses against me. Help me according to Thy great mercy, make me sober and vigilant, quicken me and save me by Thy grace through the prayers of our most pure Lady the Mother of God and of all the saints.
From A Spiritual Psalter or Reflections on God, compiled from the works of Saint Ephraim the Syrian